Poker Stories
One Dummy To A Hand
by Gary Christy of BluffMagazine
Here at the Poker Rule Command Center, we get many questions about poker.
A professional pool player named Jimi McKee writes, “This may be a stupid question, but how can you enforce the one-player-to-a-hand rule when you’re playing online poker?”
Jimi, thank you for writing, and remember our motto is, “There Are No Stupid Questions, Just Stupid People Asking Questions.” The one-player rule cannot be enforced online, nor can many other ‘traditional’ rules, such as ‘English Only During the Hand,’ and ‘You Can’t Play Naked.'
Another letter comes from Ms. Deborah Haas, an exotic dancer from California. She writes, “In a public card room, should a person say something to the dealer if they see a rule violation taking place?”
Deborah, I’m glad you asked. You should never, ever say anything to a dealer while he’s performing his dealing duties - you might cause him to miss a Big Play in the televised sporting event he’s watching, in which he might have a large vested interest.
Reverend Al Polido, Jr. asks this follow-up question: “Well then, what should be done if you see someone cheating?”
That’s simple. You should take advantage of the fact that you know they’re cheating, but that they don’t know you know.
I once won a poker tournament at a Reno casino whose name I prefer not to mention, although I will say it had a Circus theme, Circus theme. Among the contestants were a couple of guys I knew: Steve was a good player with a lot of experience, and JQ was a novice. He and Steve were good friends.
Steve busted out early and spent the rest of the day sitting behind JQ. I noticed early on that every time Steve nudged JQ in the back, JQ would raise the pot. It worked very well, and JQ was black and blue by the time we got down to the final three players. At this point, Steve must have realized he was pretty visible hanging on the back of JQ’s chair, and scooted further away. He could still see JQ’s cards but was too far away to nudge him anymore - so he stretched out his long legs until his feet were in kicking range. A couple of times when Steve kicked him, JQ actually said, “Ouch!” before he raised.
Eventually, the third player busted out and JQ and I were the only players remaining. A few hands later, I made a straight and JQ made two pair. We bet and raised back and forth, with JQ occasionally saying “Ouch,” until all our chips were in the pot. He showed his two pair, I showed my straight, and the tournament was over. He took his second-place money and limped toward the parking garage. Steve and I headed for the bar.
As we sipped our beers, I said to Steve, “I knew all day that you were helping JQ.”
He thought about that for a minute, then shook his head and said, “I didn’t kick him that last hand.”
I smiled at him and said, “I know. I did.”
Gary Christy has been dealing poker for over 25 years. He’s written dozens of best sellers, including the New Testament and the “M” section of the Yellow Pages. He’s currently trying to save enough money to buy a tank of gas at California prices.
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